Saturday, October 25, 2014

2014 Half Way Report



Mid Season Recap
Oh, and some eye candy.


  This season started with a bang and has been off and running since, and so far it's the girls that are running away with the league.  The Zombie Killers, Slayers, and Wranglers are all teams owned and operated by women and account for 3 of the top 5 teams in the league.  So far the Zombie killers have only fallen to one team in the league and boast a 6-1 record.  This team has a point differential of 148 points and is currently the highest scoring team in the league at 853 points.

  Don't count out the men as the two time defending champs (Ocelot) are number 3 in the league and is ready to continue to push for number one.  Currently tied for the top spot in the highly contested Division 1, Ocelot, faces the dreaded Zombie Killers this week hoping to end their winning streak.  

  The Dowds team leads the losers pack so far for this season.  It has been a dog fight between the Dowds and Jizonu to see which team could suck more.  Each team only has 1 win on the season because as we all know sun shines on even a dogs ass some days.

  The league is so far collecting on its debts fairly regularly with only a couple of deadbeats.  Plans have started for the end of year party and the presentation of the Championship Belt to this year's winner!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Week 6 - High Scoring Week Still Dominated by the Zombie Killers.


Zombie Killers Continue to Post Huge Numbers
Jizonu becomes the latest victim...

  At the beginning of the season the Zombie Killers came in as a long shot for the title, but boy things have changed leading into week 7.  The first week of the season saw ZK stumble but still conquer their first victim 70-61, and since then their only hiccup came again The Gotham Knights in Week 5.  In their matchup again Jizonu this week they posted the highest point total of the season much to the dismay of Jizonu who scored 142 point of their own.  This win solidified ZK as a legitimate contender for the title this seaon improving their record to 5-1.  

  The Gotham Knights and Ocelot matchup in Week 6 went right down to the wire and came down to 3 points.  The continuing health issues of Megatron has hampered the Gotham team.  Team owner Mr Montiverdi was heard screaming, "Why the hell does Jim Caldwell have to wait until the last damn minute each week?!?!?"  Ocelots defeat of the Gotham team has forced ownership to start to make some major moves on the team with more left to come.

  Next came a matchup of bitter rivals when the Wranglers battled Cubito Aequet.  This matchup started on a very high note for the Wranglers with Andrew Luck continuing to poor on the offense, but then the rest of the Wranglers seemed to forget to show up.  

  

  C.A. came back from the early deficit and destroyed the Wranglers 118 -69.  Mr Graham owner of C.A. declined comment only stating, "My mother told me if I couldn't say something nice..."

  Liftoff finally has been achieved...that is because this team finally came to life with an impressive 126-96 win over the first place Slayers.  After weeks of frustration this victory seemed impossible, but with huge numbers posted by Tom Brady, Jordy Nelson, and the Philadelphia defense the were able to overcome the odds.  The Slayers may have been caught looking past Lift Off at this coming weeks matchup against Gotham.

  The Rednecks went full Redneck this week depending on Jay Cutler to lead the way in their victory over the Dowd's team.  Cutler has been known to flake out when it matters, but this week scored 27 points for the Rednecks...

  I have to cut this a bit short because my kid won't go to bed and I'm getting a bit pissed!  :)

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Slayers Post Highest Score Yet!!1


SLAYERS POST HIGHEST SCORE YET!
The 80's metal band still has it!

  This week had two teams break this seasons highest scoring total, but only the Slayers ended up with a total of 156 points.  The Slayers took down the Jizz dropping them to their knees at 0-4.  It was dominating performances by Aaron Rogers and Antonio Brown that lead the way with Lamar Miller and Victor Cruz adding in solid point totals.  Jizonu started off slowly, but blew everything they had early and couldn't keep up with the stamina of the Slayers.  Jizonu suffered from horrible 0 point performances from DeSean Jackson and Darren Sproles.

  Liftoff had a chance with Tom Brady and the Patriots Defense left to play and only down 16 points, but due to the epic failure of the Patriots they suffered the same fate.  The Gotham Knights should not have won this match up this week, but with some luck and the fact that the Patriots crapped them selves and the fact that Liftoff left Jamal Charles on the bench they squeak by with another win.  The Gotham Knights improved to 2-2 while Lift Off crashes down to 1-3.  

  In the biggest match up of the week the two undefeated teams met in a death match.  Both team outscored all teams in the league except for the Slayers who to the top prize this week.  These two teams traded blows for a while until finally the Zombie Killers emerged as the last undefeated team in the league.  These Zombie Killers are having an amazing season (4-0), but the Wranglers have had to fight through injuries and child beatings to make it to 3-1.  

  Drew Brees and Steve Smith lead the way for Cubito's beatdown of the Dowds this week.  The Dowds were on an upward trend coming off their first win of the seaon, but suffered from subpar performances from everyone on their team except for Ben Roethlisberger.  This smackdown comes days after there were rumblings about a bet between the Grahams and the Dowds that involved chasing a Turkey...

  Quietly the Ocelot team impressively improved to 3-1 with a dominating performance over the Redneck team that seems to be really struggling.  The Rednecks squandered impressive performances by Frank Gore and Jay Cutler due to almost solely to the lack of scoring by the Eagles.  The Ocelot team had solid performances by most of their starters, but left Phillip Rivers and their 42 points on the bench.  

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Wranglers Take Top Prize in Week 3


Wranglers Crush Competition in Week 3
A dominating performance taking down the 2 time defending Champs.

  The Wranglers have face numerous problems this season from Adrian Peterson gone for the season, Brandon Marshall hurt early, to really no running game.  Some how this team has started the season 3-0 and this week took down the 2 time defending champs Ocelot with dominating performances by Julio Jones and Andrew Luck.  This was a tough matchup from the beginning with both teams having a player on the Atlanta Falcons who destroyed Tampa Bay 56-14.  The fantasy gods ended up smiling at the Wranglers as every time Ocelots Quarterback (Matt Ryan) threw a touchdown pass it seemed to go to the Wranglers Receiver (Julio Jones).  From that point on it was a tough up hill battle for Ocelot although only being down 2 point at the end of Thursday night.

  The Dowds punished the Gotham Knights for their first win of the season.  The Knights has no answer for any of the points that the Dowds were putting up.  Kirk Cousins lead the way for the Dowds with another huge performance for the Skins; showing once again that he is a much better QB than RGIII.

  Another team grabbing their first win of the season was the Rednecks dropping the hapless and pathetic Jizonu team.  The Eagles lead the way for the Rednecks as Nick Foles and Jeremy Maclin totaled 59 points combined.  Jizonu made what some were calling the right decision before the game started, but leaving DeSean Jackson on the bench cost Jizonu the win in this game.  Sometimes you just have to play the hunches.

  We have a battle for top spot in the league right now between two of our female owners as the Zombie Killers improve to 3-0 on the season with a smackdown of the Liftoff team.  The Zombie Killers team was lead by Lev'onne Bell, Dez Bryant, and Colin Kapernick totaling for more that 60% of their teams points.  While the Lift Off team didn't even cross the 60 point mark, pathetic.

  Another team with no running game grabbed a win this week as the Slayers took down Cubito Aequet.  The Slayers improve to 2-1 on the season after a very disappointing week one, while Cubito Aequet dropped to 1-2 on the season.  Other than a crappy performance by Eddie Lacy the Slayers team had a solid week with not one player really carrying the team but with all players scoring enough to grab the win.  Cubito's team fell victim to leaving 80 points on his bench.  After the games on Sunday Mr Graham (Cubito Aequet team owner) was seen drinking his pain away with weight watchers shakes at the local WW center.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Week Two Marred in Controversy Ends.





OCELOT TAKE THE WEEK TWO CROWN!

Gotham Knights (1-1)  vs Cubito Aequet (1-1)  - This matchup started out close only to be marred in controversy.  The Gotham Knights jumped out to an early lead of 40+ points by around 3pm, but when the 4pm games started that’s when the tides started to turn.  Cubito’s 4pm starters outscored Gotham’s 70 -32 including the controversial touchdown by Percy Harvin.  The Gotham Knights just let this one slip away to fall to 1-1 on the season.

Lift Off (1-1) vs Ocelot (2-0) – This matchup could have easily gone the other way, but Lift Off’s team was ran into injury problems and a disappointing game by Pierre Thomas.  Ocelot continued to show their dominance in the league by putting together a solid performance without any real standout performances.  Ocelot took the lead early in this matchup and continued step on the throat of Lift Off as the match progressed.  Ocelot improved to 2-0 on the season while Lift Off fell to 1-1.

The Rednecks (0-2) vs Slayers (1-1) – In a matchup that was really slow to start the Slayers pulled ahead early in the 4pm games.  This was a low scoring affair that was dominated by the performance of Aaron Rodgers and Russell Wilson.  The Slayers definitely benefitted from the ability to Start 2 quarterbacks in this matchup, while the Rednecks left some big points on the bench and had another disappoint performance by Larry Fitzgerald. 

Jizonu (0-2) vs The Wranglers (2-0) – This matchup was a close one and came down to the last game of the week.  The Wranglers only needed 1 point going into the Monday night matchup and Andrew Luck was able to conquer that mighty hill.  Jizonu has impressive performances by Cam Newton and Giovanni Bernard but not enough to defeat the Wranglers who had solid performances by most of their team. 


Dowds (0-2) vs Zombie Killers (2-0) – In the lowest scoring matchup of the week we saw a two teams battle and have not one player score in the 20’s.  This was previously thought to be impossible in this offensive driven NFL, but these two teams found a way to both suck playing against each other.  Amazingly enough the Zombie Killers advanced to 2-0 on the season scoring only 70 points.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Gotham Knights Furious Over Harvin Screw Job


Gotham Knights Furious Over Harvin Screw Job
Gotham Knights Owner Files Protest with NFL League Offices


  A flurry of activity is hitting the league offices this morning a thousands of league commissioners are meeting to discuss the Percy Harvin "not touchdown" run on Sunday.  As the NFL sorts through the overwhelming number of protests that are hitting their offices this morning there is a question that is gaining momentum.  Did Roger Goodell review this tape??  

  At halftime of yesterdays game the NFL had already started their PR campaign of falling on the sword and stating that yes they missed this call.  Reports came out from Twitter, ESPN, Yahoo, and all kinds of other media the minute that it happened.  It was apparent to everyone watching the game that he stepped out of bounds and the game announcers could only say, "Hmmm that was close".  

  The Gotham Knights of the GNR Classic Fantasy Football league was drastically affected by this horrible play and ended up losing 113 - 104 to Cubito Aequet.  Gotham Knights owner Mr Montiverdi stated, "I have been part of the NFL FF family for many years.  We have faith that the league will review this play and take the touchdown and yardage away from Mr Harvin and the Seahawks".  That being said Mr Montiverdi also stated, "We have filed a protest with the league demanding that this blatant error is rectified."     Mr Montiverdi has always been one of the "Hot Heads" of the league and has high demands upon the league.  One owner who wishes to stay anonymous stated, "Don't make him angry.  You wouldn't like to see him angry."

  The NFL in the past has modified players statistics after the game, but has not changed an actual scoring play in recent memory.  If this play is overturned the Gotham Knights would defeat Cubito Aequet 104-100.  It will be interesting to see how things unfold.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

McCoy Duels Forte as Dowds Goes Up Against Zombie Killers


McCoy Duels Forte as Dowds Goes Up Against Zombie Killers

Coming off the top-scoring performance in the league last week, 1st-place Zombie Killers (1-0, 135.00) faces off with 7th-place Dowds (0-1, 100.00). Thursday projections have Dowds taking this one by 19.00 points, 96.00 - 77.00.
Each team has two starters in action in the game tonight. Torrey Smith (7.00 projected points) and Ben Roethlisberger (probable) start for Dowds, while Zombie Killers has Justin Tucker (8.00 projected points) and Le'Veon Bell (probable). Within the league, two other matchups get underway tonight.
For Zombie Killers to play well, they'll need to capitalize at the TE position, where Rob Gronkowski is expected to score more than Kyle Rudolph, 12.00 - 4.00. Dowds has three players (A.J. Green, Ben Roethlisberger, and Robert Griffin III) facing a top-10 defense while one more (LeSean McCoy) faces a bottom-10-ranked defense. Zombie Killers has two starters (Dez Bryant and Le'Veon Bell) going up against a top-10 defense and one (Colin Kaepernick) against a defense ranked in the bottom 10.
Dowds has made one change to their lineup since Tuesday, starting Kyle Rudolph (4.00 projected points) while benching Richard Rodgers (0.00 projected points). They could be interested in starting Doug Martin (11.00 projected points) over Steven Jackson (4.00 projected points) and adding the Washington Redskins DEF (6.00 projected points) to start in place of the Carolina Panthers DEF (4.00 projected points).
Meanwhile, Zombie Killers has made one change to their lineup, starting Mike Evans (5.00 projected points) while placing Reggie Bush (5.00 projected points) on the bench. They might want to think about starting Kendall Wright (13.00 projected points) over Cordarrelle Patterson (6.00 projected points) and might also consider adding the Washington D (6.00 projected points) to start in place of the San Francisco 49ers DEF (2.00 projected points).